you're Chinese/Vietnamese/Korean if you...........

[FragrantMemory]

You Know You're Vietnamese When...
At least one of your parents are in a self owned business like a laundromat, nail salon, or apartment building.

You look older than you really are.
You're racist.
Your parents are scared of anyone that is black.
Your parents dog on Mexicans and Blacks
You know you're superior to other Asians.
Your parents think you're 12 when you're really 18.
When you go out to buy clothes you have to buy them 3 sizes too big for you to grow in and for any younger brother or sister to have for Christmas a few years down the line.
At least one of your parents are in a self owned business like Laundromat, Nails, or Apartments. If they own apartments they rent only to Asian families...never blacks.
Guys: you sit on your butt all day.
Girls: you do everything while your man sits on his butt.
Guys: you have a nice variety of white and black shirts, blue and black jeans and slacks.
You cuss out anyone in Vietnamese that gets you pissed off.
Your parents think you're the worst kid.
Your parents compare you to 4.5 nerds and call you stupid.
You watch Vietnamese translated movies that are 30 tapes long.
You listen to New-wave, Techno, Rap, Slowjams, and/or Euro dance.
You show your Viet-pride to the fullest.
You go to Little Saigon once in a while or every weekend or everyday!
While you are in Little Saigon, you always go to Phuoc Loc Tho where you head straight into that Asian Collection music store.
You always take American friends to go to Bo 7 Mon (Seven courses of Beef) to amaze them with Vietnamese foods.
There's Chinese in your family line somewhere.
You live in the valley (SFV), O.C., or somewhere in the East.
You get along with other Vietnamese even though they are total F.O.B.'s.
You're down for your crap.
You're loyal to ALL your friends.
You don't own an American car.
Girls: You hate all F.O.B.'s that go "Hey, babee, you cute. Can I hab yo fone numba?"
Guys: You enjoy getting slapped by the girls you try to mack on. Hey, at least she touched you.
You are the bomb at pool.
You like to wear Nike, Adidas, Tommy, or Nautica. If you're an F.O.B., you wear Calvin Klein and Guess.
You are always updated with the Asian style.
Guys: You either have high spikes or slicked small bangs combed back.
You highlight your hair.
You buy Levi's 501s and you slit the sides.
You played the piano once in your life.
You take 2 or more showers a day.
Your parents always boast about you to all the other Vietnamese parents, or your parents totally dogg on how stupid you are to other Vietnamese parents.
After you come from the beach with a tan, they say that you look Cambodian.
No matter what you are, people think your Chinese or Korean.
Anybody will ask you to say something in Vietnamese. After you told them hello and how are you doing in Vietnamese, they ask about the cuss words.
Your parents can only help you with the math assignments and no other subjects.
You like Durian.
When you get detention or demerits from school, your parents think that you are a rebel.
When your parents see that you get bad grades, they start lecturing about how they went through hell in school in Vietnam. They would say that they would have gotten whooped in the butt.
Your parents always compare Vietnam and America.
When you are feeling ill, your parents think you're on drugs.
Your parents have the whole collection of Paris By Night.
Your parents always criticize you, criticize others, and criticize each other.
Guys: You love Acura Integras and 4-Runners.
Your parents want you to be better than everyone else.
Guys: you, one time in your life, had the regulation bowl cut.
You ate 4 bowls of rice, then five minutes after, your parents ask you if you want to eat 4 more bowls.
Your aunts always have a fro hair cut.
Your parents always compare you to those big buff white peeps.
In your house, there's always multiple pictures of your family and you when you were small, side by side in every room.
You have the last name or are related to someone who has the last name: Nguyen.
Guys: You only go for only cute Asian girls.
Girls: You went out with or liked someone named Minh.
Your dad wears glasses and always has the good ol' hair combed to the side.
You only buy products made in Japan.
Your parents always remind you to greet every older person in Vietnamese if they're Vietnamese.
You always have pounds of rice around the house.
Your parents hate pets except for harmless, CHEAP goldfishes.
Your parents are attracted to the English words of: "99 cents" or "FREE."
You collect all the coupons you can find.
Your grandparents always give you money.
Your parents know how to make Pho.
You're taller than your parents.
You have a computer.
Your parents only watch TV when the Little Saigon Television is on.
You put Soy Sauce or nuoc mam on every food .
You enjoy Karaoke and/or you have the machine at home.
You can't date until you're 60.
Your parents make you get married with only Vietnamese people.
You like playing volleyball.
You use your dishwasher to store clean dishes.
Your parents use the "Eagle" brand oil for every type of sickness.
You use the Eagle Oil.
You know where all of the Vietnamese restaurants in town are.
You, your little brother, your older brother, and your older brother's friend sleep together in the same bed.
Your family own a copy of "Paris By Night".
Your parents always buy Japanese automobiles.
Your parents listen to the news from Vietnamese radio station either at home or in their car.
Your parents always want to do business with Vietnamese only.
Your parents want you to marry an educated person.
Your father or brother goes to the casino every week or month.




you know your chinese if you...
You eat rice for breakfast.
Your friends and everybody else assume you know Kung Fu.
You remember or still use "the bowl" for haircuts.
Your folk?s kitchen have a constant lingering aroma.
You notice the main topic at family get-togethers is food.
Your parent?s lifelong ambition is to go to Las Vegas.
You never ever sat down on Popo?s warm chair after she got up.
You seldom ever owned new clothes if you were a second child.
Your folks never speak under 10 decibels at family gatherings.
You never made the school football or basketball team.
You have two middle initials instead of one.
You have an inherent "fear" for bamboo feather dusters.
Your "hot" date is going to your parent?s house to have "jook".
Your living room sofas have covers on them.
You laugh at Kan Tong and Chung King commercials.
You inform the ticket clerk that your 13 year old is 12 to avoid paying adult fare.
You sneak in snacks at the movie theater.
Your grandmother smell like mothballs.
You?d bring home a Caucasian friend and "popo" would be cooking something that smelled like it had died a week ago.
You were told you all look alike.
You know how to pinch someone with your toes.
You graduated from UCI or knows of someone who did.
You would drive around the block 10 times rather than pay for parking.
You have a hard time pronouncing "aluminum" and "lobster claw".
You truly believe that your neighbor could use that old sweater rather than throwing it away.
You would take that sweater if you were your neighbor.
You would stand in line for hours and hours for a free gift whether you needed it or not.
You have clothes in your closet that is coming back in style.
You?ve seen every Bruce Lee movie.
You still have your old slide rule.
You never order chop suey or egg foo young.
You have a relative or friend who works as a waiter or cook.
You prefer your chicken and shrimp served with heads and feet still attached.
You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.
You spit bones and other food scraps on the table (that?s why you need a vinyl tablecloth).
Your parents know how to launch nasal projectiles.
You buy on sale 100 rolls of toilet paper and store them in a closet or in a vacant room when your adult child moves out.
You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas when its 50% off.
Your kitchen has a sticky film of grease over it.
Your stove is covered with tin foil.
You have stuff in your freezer since the beginning of time.
You have never used your dishwasher.
You use your dishwasher as a dish rack.
You boil water and put it in the refrigerator.
You keep a thermos of hot water available at all times.
You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers.
You use grocery bags to hold garbage.
You eat all meals in the kitchen.
You bring oranges or other produce with you as a gift when you visit peoples homes.
You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel.
You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully to save and reuse wrappings and bows.
You feel like you?ve won the lottery if you didn?t have to pay tax for an item.
You starve yourself all day before going to an all you can eat buffet.
You stop dialing 411 information when they started to charge for each call.
You only call long distance after 11 PM.
You suck on salty preserved seeds for a sore throat.
You keep a stash of Li Hing Mui at home.
Your eyes resemble dime slots when you laugh.
You know what the term "FOB" and "ABC" means.
You laugh at Martin Yan?s jokes not because he?s funny.
Your parents have a glass jar of preserved limes aging on top of the roof.
You own a wok.
You know what a "bow" is?and it doesn?t mean to bend over.
You never eat fried foods when you?re sick (it creates phlegm and hot air).
You would prefer your fish entree staring at you on the dinner table.
You never discuss your love life with your parents.
Your parents still use a clothes line.
You save your old coke bottle glasses even though you?re never going to use them again.
You keep most of your money in a savings account.
You own your own meat cleaver and sharpen it.
You?ve joined a CD club at least once.
You keep used batteries.
You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry or electronics.
You?re always late.
You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don?t eat the last piece of food on the table.
You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
Your dad thinks he can fix anything.
You live with your parents and over 30 years old (and they like it that way). And if you?re married, you live in the apartment next to your parents, or in the same neighborhood.
Your parents house is always cold.
You beat eggs with chopsticks.
You never use measuring cups.
You reuse tea bags.
You tip Chinese delivery guys/waiters more.
You never call your parents to say hi.
You always cook too much.
Your parents always ask you if you?ve eaten, even though it?s midnight.
Your parents send money to their relatives in China.
Your parents tell you to boil herbs and stay inside when you?re sick.
You have a drawer full of used pens, most of which don?t write anymore.
You know all the waiters at your favorite Chinese restaurant.
Your parents never go to the movies.
You notice at dances, a wall of guys standing together trying to look cool.
You iron your own shirts.
You play a musical instrument.
You don?t own any real Tupperware, only used margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars.
You never leave any leftovers on the table in a restaurant. You have it put in boxes or finish it.
Your ketchup, mayonnaise, and mustard in the refrigerator are all "Price Club-size".
You have an assortment of condiments and utensils from fast food takeouts stuffed in a drawer.
You never order for room service.
You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine, or law.
Your parents are never satisfied with your grades.
You own a rice cooker.
You buy rice in 50 pound sacks.
You wash rice 2 to 3 times before you cook it.
You steam something on top of your rice while its cooking.
You have acquired a taste for bitter melon.
You like congee with thousand year old eggs.
You always carry a stash of food when you travel like preserved plums, beef jerky, or dried cuttlefish.
Your parents vehemently refuse the sack of gold coin oranges that their guests brought to be courteous.
You know what MJ means.
You pick your teeth at the dinner table, but you cover your mouth.
You have a piano in the living room.
You live in an apartment and your parents always want you to come home.
You have a rice cooker to check in at the airport when you travel.
You grow your own bean sprouts in the kitchen.
Your mother made you peel water chestnuts and snow peas.
You have an lonely unmarried relative who frequently drops by during dinner time.
You received little red envelopes containing money on special occasions.
You use the underside of a porcelain bowl to sharpen your knives.
You cut your own hair?or had someone in your family do it.
Your grandmother has a lot of gold teeth?especially in front.
You keep fresh garlic and ginger in the kitchen at all times.
You know what the term "lemon" or a "banana" means.
You only have to shave every other day (maybe).
You tell your friends that you?re starting a new mustache when you really had it for several months.
You wash and reuse ziplock bags.
You save your children?s halloween candy and give it out the next year.
You either love or hate "mooncakes".
You know at least three people named Alan Wong.
Your parents constantly complain you use too much toilet paper when you go to the bathroom.
You hated that black herb medicine that your parents forced you to drink when you were sick.
Your parents have kitchen towels made of old cloth rice bags.
You never drank milk after eating cherries.
You?ve swallowed those tiny "BB?s" with hot tea for a tummy ache.
Your mother has a short-haired, curly perm.
You?ve asked your parent?s help on one math problem and 2 hours later they?re still lecturing.
You shop at 99 Ranch Markets.
Your parents enjoy comparing you to their friend?s kids.
You?ve had to sit through karaoke videos with scantily clad, ugly Asian women attempting to dance and walk around a temple, forest, or library.
You?ve had to eat parts of animals that they don?t even put in hotdogs.
You have piles of shoes and slippers blocking the entrances to your home.
You have no eyelashes!
Your idiot friends try to impress you with pathetic imitation languages, like the ever so popular "ching chong woo bok chi"?etc.
Your biology lecture on marine life (seaweed, octopii, sea cucumbers, etc.) was last night?s dinner.
You have at least one family member who wears black wire or plastic framed glasses.
You have several relatives who wear glasses?thick glasses.
You like $1.75 movies
You like $1.50 movies even more!
Your parents never kissed you?your parents never kissed each other.
Your friends ask you to translate the scribbles on chopsticks (like you really know what it means!).
You call all your parents friends "auntie or uncle".
You get nothing if you do well in school, but get in big trouble if you don?t.
Your dad still pulls his socks up to his knees?you know, the ones with the blue and pink stripes at the top.
Your parents buy you clothes and shoes many sizes too big so you can "grow" into them and wear them for years to come.
Your family always cheer for the Asian athlete competing (eg. Michael Chang, Michelle Kwan, etc).
Your parents or relatives have goldfish swimming in an aquarium.
Your first generation relatives have a statue of an obese, bald-headed man surrounded by children.
Your parents collect jade jewelry.
Your friends from China think anything from the old country is considered "good stuff".
You know not to eat the oranges or tangerines arranged in a little pyramid.
You always drink tea after a meal.
Your dad owns at least one bird.
Your parents grow vegetables in a garden.
You use doilies to decorate your furniture.
Your friends automatically assume you?re good at math.
You are good at math!!! (the hell with humility).
You know how to pick out the meat in watermelon seeds with your teeth.
Your grandmother rapped your knuckles with her chopsticks while reaching food with your fingers.

[FragrantMemory]

You know your korean if you
The furniture in your house never matches the wallpaper, the carpet, the decorations or any of the rest of the furniture.
You have rocks, sticks, leaves, deer antlers, and strange smelling, unknown substances in your pantry for use in medicine.
You own a rice cooker or two.
You buy soy sauce by the gallon.
Your family owns butcher knives bigger than your head.
You live with your Hal-moh-nee.
You parents own a liquor store, dry cleaner, or some kind of discount store.
You drive a lowered, fixed up Integra, eclipse, or some kind of Honda.
You never tip over 15%.
You hate Denny's, even though you go there 24-7.
You love Sanrio stuff.
You have a pager.
You do that twirling thing with you pen.
You always have a box of Sapporo Ichiban ramyun or Yook-eh-jang.
Even though your family isn't super rich, you own a Mercedes or Lexus.
You bring home all A's and one B, and your parents yell, "Why did you get a B?"
There is a 75% chance that you'll marry someone with the same last name .
White people always say, "Say my name in Korean!"
When you have a family gathering, 50 little kids are running around your house, and YOU have to entertain them.
You can't stand Margaret Cho (that actress on All American Girl).
When the bill comes, you practically beat each other up- saying that YOU'LL pay for the bill.
When you were in Junior High, you were either a nerd or a little "kkang ppeh" wannabe.
Your parents say, "The reason why we came to America was so that you could get a good education, so go to Harvard."
You either have to be a doctor, lawyer, or some big-time business tycoon.
Your parents say, "1600 isn't that hard... just study."
When some mega-mega nerd student is in the Korean newspaper, your parents say, "why can't you be like him?"
If you're a guy, then you always have to put up with the "20 questions" game when you call a girl if her parents answer but if you're smart, you ask, "Um hello? Is Bob there?
No matter how well your parents speak English, they can't say "wood."
Your dad hits you in the head with his knuckle, and it hurts REALLY REALLY bad.
Your parent's idea of a social life is church.
You have a container full of Kim-Chee in your fridge right now.\
You own a pair of BYC socks.
You or your parents start singing when drunk.
You have the Asian decals stuck to your car.
Your parents are still shorter than you.
You call a Korean older than you "Oppah" or "noona."
You make daily stops to the local "Hello Kitty" store.
You know the "san-toki" song.
Your dad owns plaid pants.
You or your parents hand wash underwear.
"No-Rae Bang" is a common household word.
There's a bottle of Soju in your parents' fridge.
Your main source of income is New Years.
Your parents think anything goes with rice.
The rice you eat can stick to anything.
You can't believe your parents could have conceived children.
Your parents still spank you, even when you move out.
Failing a class means finding a new place to live.
Your mom rents Korean soap operas and watches them daily.
You have naked baby pictures of you.
Your parents read the labels of everything to see if it was made in Korea.
When you were little, relatives used to grab your genitals or breasts.
Your parents yell out your Korean name REAL loud in public places.
Ramen is the fifth food group.
You have to translate for your parents when ordering fast food.
Your parents are afraid of black people.
Your parents bought a gun after the L.A. riots.
Your parents used to cut your hair Okidoki.
You tell your parents you need to buy glue for school, but they reply, "just use rice!"
Your parent's idea of a social life is church.
People ask, "Hey, show me some Jackie Chan moves!".
When someone points you out, they say "that one Chinese girl (or guy)."

Your parents were ecstatic when the 88 Olympics were held in Korea.

You know how to do the "kimchi squat."
If you're a guy- you talk about fixing up the car that you will never have.
Even though you can't watch TV, your parents rent a million Korean videos and watch them continuously for hours on end.
Your parents took the TV out of the house.
Your mom sings chan-son-gahs (hymns) while driving.
Your grandmother sings chan-son-gahs really loud, while pounding her thigh, which is TOTALLY off beat.
You have a million black leather bibles.
Even though your parents are die-hard Christians, they don't want you getting TOO involved with church.
When you ask your parents if you can go out, they either reply "No" or "hmph" which means yes.
You go out two Fridays in a row, and they yell that you go out too much.
You have one of those silver kimhi-ttongs with buckles on the sides.
You have a gazillion small containers in your fridge with a different ban-chan inside. but even though it smells pretty raunchy, you still eat it.
When an Asian girl with a white guy (or vice versa) walks by, your parents STARE at them with their eyes popping out.
When you go to buffets, your parents make you eat until you think you're going to hurl, and even after you do, they say, "good, eat more."
Your parents yell at you for being short, but they're the ones that gave you the short genes.
Your parents raise their hand as if they're going to hit you, and you totally shudder, shrinking back.
The main reason why you want to go to college out of state is that you can get away from your parents.
When you go to church retreats, you long for some good ol' Korean cooking.
You have the ability to tell the different Asians apart (i.e. Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese).
You go to American restaurants, and your dad eats really wide and rudely, so you put your head down while whispering, "apppaaahhhhh stooopp!"
Your parents make you work at their business (i.e. liquor store, cleaners, discount store).
You bring home a white friend, and your parents immediately think that he/she sleeps around, uses drugs, and parties 24-7.
Your parents have absolutely no color sense, wearing totally mismatched clothes.
Your parents verbally abuse you, even when joking around.
Your parents never attended your Back to School Night or Open House at school.
Your mom is the BEST cook!
When your mom hears or watches something sad, she'll make this repeated sound really fast like "tte" a million times a minute.
When you're sick, your mom will pink inside of your elbow REALLY hard, saying you have a digestion problem or something.
Your parents were supposed to get a divorce many times, but they never did for the children's sake, financial problems, or simply because,
"what would we tell church people?"
Your parents will be helping you with a math problem, but when you get something wrong, they'll start yelling and swearing at you so loud, as if you just committed some deadly crime.
Summer does not mean playtime to your parents. Summer means-bust out those workbooks so you can get ahead in class!
Kumon is a household word.
Whenever guests come over, your parents make you whip out your
violin/piano skills.
When guests are leaving your house, you have to stand outside your house saying bye to them, not to mention bowing a gazillion times.
You'll go to a movie with your parents, and afterwards, they'll say "I don't understand."
Your parents never participated in the "American" traditions of Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy. You'll say, "Where's Santa Claus?" and they'll reply, "Santa Claus! Ptch! He's dead!" And then you'll start crying.
When you had your first loose tooth, your parents promised to not to pull it out but just to LOOK at it, but when they did, they just yanked the baby out.
You'll buy a shirt full price, and your parents will yell, "What! You could have bought that for $2 at the swap meet!"
You're going out with a friend and your parents need to know their name, where they live, their phone #, what their parents do for a living, what kind of grades they get, what they got on their SATs, how they dress, if they go to church, and if they're male or female.
After you're get off the phone with someone from the opposite sex, your parents will start interrogating you about that person (except the last one). You'll talk to someone from the opposite sex two days in a row, and your parents immediately think there's something going on.
You bring home straight As, and your parents say, "So? You're supposed to get that!"
When I was in Korea...."
When you get a car, the only places you're supposed to go is school, the library, and maybe the grocery store to do grocery shopping for them.
When the doorbell rings, your parents get ALL suspicious and prohibit you from answering it. When they do answer it, they'll open the crack like 1 centimeter and speak through that. And if it's a salesperson, they'll slam the door screaming, "we no interest!"
Your mom will laugh with her hand covering her mouth.
You'll be somewhere with your boyfriend/girlfriend, and then you'll see an adult from church, so you immediately start freaking out.
You had to miss out on Saturday morning cartoons as a child, attending dreaded Korean School.
While on long car trips, your parents will get bored, so they'll think about something that bugs them, and start bugging you. (i.e., Why is your room so messy! Why do you always fight with your siblings! Why do you always go out so much!)
You have a mini-van which your mom drives.
Your parents will be yelling at you (or each other) and in the middle of all the raucus, will close the windows so that the neighbors won't hear.
You never feed your dog dog food but all your leftovers.
You'll be cooking kalbi outside, and neighbors will ask what the aroma is.
You think EVERYTHING is racial, like if someone is mildly rude to you.
When a fixed up Japanese car drives by, you can't help but look to see who's driving.
You go to church retreats to meet people from the opposite sex.