My encounter with a beggar lady & her young child

[TheKorean]

I had an interesting encounter with a beggar lady and her young child after work tonight.

I had encountered this beggar lady and her child once before...a few months ago, but hadn't seen or really thought about them since then. I remember giving her $2 the last time I encountered her, and didn't expect to see her again.

I saw her again tonight while I was sitting at my favorite coffee shop, and once again (as she did during our previous encounter) she asked me for some money to help her and her child out. I gave her $5 this time.

She was very insistent that it wasn't enough, however, and asked for more. So I threw in another $2. She then asked me for $20.

That really caught me off-guard. Usually, beggars will happily take whatever is offered them, even if it isn't a whole lot. This is the first time that I met a beggar who actually insisted on more. She insisted that she needed $20 to buy food for her child (things are more indeed more expensive these days, but $20 would tide them over for a few days if they spend it wisely, unless she really expected me to pay her and her child's food bills for an entire week).

I stood firm on the $7.00 that I gave her. I really did feel sorry for her and her child, but if she's going to raise that child properly, she's going to need a better plan than the one she's got now. I don't know exactly what her circumstances are, but her current plan (such as it is) for dealing with it isn't likely to work out.

The lady in question is of either Middle Eastern or Eastern European descent. Her child is maybe a year old...two tops. You wouldn't know that she is so hard up for money when you first see her. She's fairly decently dressed and groomed and so is her child (they don't look wealthy, but you wouldn't think they're destitute just by looking at them either). She shows no sign of mental illness or substance abuse, but I haven't spent more than one minute in her company, so who knows?

In any case, I do feel sort of bad for not giving her more because it's not as if I couldn't afford it, but at the same time, I felt that giving more would NOT be helpful to her or her child in the long run. I just hope I did the right thing.

[daint]

I think you sir are caught off guard. I think u just got scam. we have couple of those here in the area where I visit often. I learn to understand that they will never be satisfy with what you give. I once did the same thing and i learn to try to never give any money to those people. they will walk/chase with you for awhile before they realize they will not get any more money from you then they will curse the crap out of you or even spit at you because you didn't give more money.
I have read stories of these stuff online and on newspaper. Some of these scammers make up to 300 a day. I still sometimes continue to throw in money to beggars cus i feel sad. I do try to look more careful at them and the situation before i decide to hand my money out. I usually hand it then walks away and not looking back at them

[TheKorean]

May 31, 2010 20:29:21 GMT -5 daint said:

I think you sir are caught off guard. I think u just got scam.

The possibility certainly did cross my mind. In fact, I think it's a very strong possibility that it was indeed a scam. Then again, I could afford the $7 and that's all I lost if it is a scam; if it isn't, then my not giving the $7 would have meant that that lady and kid would go hungry tonight. I thought it was a decent trade off.

But there is good reason to be suspicious: there were other patrons in that cafe, but the lady didn't ask anyone else for money. She made a beeline for me...most likely because I had given once before.

[daint]

were you the only asian dude there? maybe it was just because you looked nicer than the other people there?

[TheKorean]

May 31, 2010 20:32:31 GMT -5 daint said:

were you the only asian dude there? maybe it was just because you looked nicer than the other people there?

It was a fairly heterogeneous group in terms of age, ethnicity, etc., but everybody there looked well-off enough to be able to afford to donate the $20 she was asking for.

I became more suspicious when after I gave her the $7 and told her firmly that that was as much as I was going to give her tonight, she didn't ask anyone else for money. She just left, and looked pretty frustrated that she wasn't able to get more.

[ericclone]

One Word : Hustled.

[Xyrad]

Yeah, she was more than likely scamming you. Having her kid there with her was probably just to appeal to your better nature. Though I tend to ignore beggars unless they have a child with them, in which case I only ever give them food because I feel bad for the kid.

[FragrantMemory]

That's very nice of you. I never give more than a five.
I have never been approached by a homeless person in a diner before. It's always been parking lots.
They have chased me down on occasion after I said I didn't have money on me. Although that was true at the time, I wanted to get away because the guy had a crazed look in his eye and smelled of alcohol.

I have come across an old Vietnamese man at a park. Looked in his eighties, very frail. I immediately thought he was one of those immigrants whose children had cruelly abandoned him. I was heartbroken, so I gave him all the food I had bought plus all my dollar bills.
Then I had to explain to my friend why I didn't bring back food, which was the reason why I left in the first place. XD

When I was no more than 5 years old...
I remember a guy who tried to scam my father("beggar" just flipping walked out of an Asian casino-bar), but my father flatly refused him, which got the dude riled up. He followed my father, his words became more irate, and I thought it was going to blows so I clutched the car keys and mentally prepared to stab the "beggar."
Ahahaha, I can't believe I was so dumb.
Thank goodness for the invention and eventual improvement of cell phones.

And then there are those who always ask me a for a cig, but that's another matter.

[Xyrad]

^ That's happened to me too many times; it really irritates me when someone asks me for a cigarette.

Oh, and the reason I avoid giving beggars money is because they're more likely to spend it on drugs or alcohol.

[FragrantMemory]

This man in a Walmart parking lot recently asked me for gas money while I was lugging my merchandise to the car.
I saw that he was puffing a cigarette, and said I didn't have any.
How does he know he's out of gas if he managed to somehow park it perfectly in a space near the entrance? And he was leaning against it.

[Xyrad]

And don't forget that guy when we were biking.

For the rest of you:
EternalMoon and I were out biking with some of our friends and had just chained up our bikes outside a restaurant. While we're still next to our bikes, a middle-aged Caucasian man drives up in his polished SUV and asks us if we have any money for him to eat.

Needless to say, we didn't give him anything. We were polite about it, of course, despite being dumbfounded, and he even tried flattering us as he drove off. "Nice smiles."

[sammy]

havent seen any homless as suchj but i would give them something for sure, only have to worry if they will not go waste it on booze or drugs