Post by FragrantMemory on Jun 15, 2008 21:31:26 GMT -5
One line Puns!
1. Two wrongs can make a riot.
2. Gravity is a myth; Earth sucks
3. I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.
4. Families are like fudge. Mostly sweet with a few nuts.
5. Madness takes its toll; please have exact change.
6. Sign on a clothing store - Come inside and have a fit.
7. Some people are wise, and some, otherwise.
8. Statisticians say "mean" things.
9. A princess gets her education one knight at a time.
10. The first scientists who studied fog were mistified.
11. Don't put too many adaptors into one socket. They confuse.
12. What did one bee say to her neighbor? Mind your own bee's nest.
13. I asked Mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.
14. "The picture of the horse is good. But where is the wagon?" "Oh, the horse will draw that."
15. I was on an elevator the other day, and the operator kept calling me 'son.' I said, 'Why do you call me 'son'? You're not my father.' He said, 'I brought you up, didn't I?'
16. I spent a lot of my money on booze, babes and fast cars….The rest, I just squandered.
17. When a guy says that he likes a woman's sense of humor, he ISN'T talking about her jokes. He's talking about appreciating his!
18. We're a fastidious couple… I'm fast…. She's tedious.
19. If you want a pretty nurse, you've got to be patient.
20. " How does an attorney sleep? First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
21. Wear short sleeves. Support your right to bear arms.
22. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
23. With everything you read about spray cans and the ozone layer it's enough to scareosol to death.
24. Many campaign promises are sound. Just sound!
25. I just need enough to tide me over until I need more!
26. Wrestlers don't like to be put on hold.
27. My check bounced because of insignificant funds.
28. Jan. 19, 1896 the first music patent was granted. The man who received it said he got it for a song.
29. I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That's how I lost my mind.
30. A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge!
31. Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids!
32. "I needn't have been cloned," said Dolly sheepishly, "my family used to do exactly what I did anyway !"
33. It is rumored that Bobby Fischer got bored of playing chess with Russians. He asked the association to fix his next match with some other Europeans. It seems his telegram read, " How about a Czech mate?"
1. Two wrongs can make a riot.
2. Gravity is a myth; Earth sucks
3. I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.
4. Families are like fudge. Mostly sweet with a few nuts.
5. Madness takes its toll; please have exact change.
6. Sign on a clothing store - Come inside and have a fit.
7. Some people are wise, and some, otherwise.
8. Statisticians say "mean" things.
9. A princess gets her education one knight at a time.
10. The first scientists who studied fog were mistified.
11. Don't put too many adaptors into one socket. They confuse.
12. What did one bee say to her neighbor? Mind your own bee's nest.
13. I asked Mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.
14. "The picture of the horse is good. But where is the wagon?" "Oh, the horse will draw that."
15. I was on an elevator the other day, and the operator kept calling me 'son.' I said, 'Why do you call me 'son'? You're not my father.' He said, 'I brought you up, didn't I?'
16. I spent a lot of my money on booze, babes and fast cars….The rest, I just squandered.
17. When a guy says that he likes a woman's sense of humor, he ISN'T talking about her jokes. He's talking about appreciating his!
18. We're a fastidious couple… I'm fast…. She's tedious.
19. If you want a pretty nurse, you've got to be patient.
20. " How does an attorney sleep? First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
21. Wear short sleeves. Support your right to bear arms.
22. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
23. With everything you read about spray cans and the ozone layer it's enough to scareosol to death.
24. Many campaign promises are sound. Just sound!
25. I just need enough to tide me over until I need more!
26. Wrestlers don't like to be put on hold.
27. My check bounced because of insignificant funds.
28. Jan. 19, 1896 the first music patent was granted. The man who received it said he got it for a song.
29. I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That's how I lost my mind.
30. A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge!
31. Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids!
32. "I needn't have been cloned," said Dolly sheepishly, "my family used to do exactly what I did anyway !"
33. It is rumored that Bobby Fischer got bored of playing chess with Russians. He asked the association to fix his next match with some other Europeans. It seems his telegram read, " How about a Czech mate?"
